Is this the beginning?

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Hi. My name is Rick Clemens. I’m a forty-nine year old, married, white man, with two sons, ages 18 and 21. I live in southwest Missouri. Up until six months ago I was an IT project manager working for big banks and other financial institutions. I quit last May and moved here to the Ozarks with my family. This year I hope to become an organic farmer and natural builder. My first projects will be our own cob/timberframe cottage and the first phase of our gardens. I talk about these things like there's some kind of distinct division between these times of my life, some threshold crossed; a drastic and permanent change made all at once. But the truth is most, if not all the changes in life, are transitions. Some are barely noticeable and some are quick and jolting, but they're transitions just the same. And so while it feels like a beginning, all of this started a long time ago.

Thirteen years ago we moved from southwest Missouri to Charlotte, NC. We got good jobs and had a great house in the suburbs with goods friends. We had problems but for the most part life was good. But as time went on we began to feel that something wasn’t right. That something was a bit, maybe a lot, out of kilter. These feelings grew into an awareness of peak oil and climate change. We also became aware of the empire and our role in it, and began to glimpse how our actions and style of living directly affect our world and one another. Slowly some of the nagging, out of kilter truth, began to dawn on us. The empire, our country, with its consumption driven rush to some new, sleekly packaged American dream, made much of our lives a drudgery, and often put us at odds with our selves and our neighbors. It seemed to us that our government was working double time to force this dream/drudgery on anyone and anything it could hunt down and catch. We began to see that the pain and damage in the faces on the television was real. It was happening to real people, real animals, the real world. And we have a role in it. We decided things had to change. We had to change.

So we began by getting out of debt. We started buying organic and local food when we could get it. In 2006 we sold the house in the Charlotte suburbs and moved to a small townhome near St Louis for two years. During that time we learned about food storage, cheese making, home brewing, baking bread, making pasta, etc.. Lots of things. And all the while we were reading, studying, and talking natural food, permaculture and cob building with anyone who would listen. Last summer we moved to a small town just southeast of Springfield, Missouri. Even with all the changes it still seemed like just dreams and talk. Stuff in a book. But just after the first of this year we purchased three acres with great southeast aspect just outside of an even smaller town, (see 1-Homebilly on the photos page), and the transition accelerated and became much more real. Suddenly we're behind on everything and spring already is already tapping on the door. We want bees, grapes, a huge garden, a new handmade all natural cottage, a courtyard and outdoor kitchen, a root cellar, and a smoke house. We want goats and ducks and chickens and a cow and… all in the first year. Hmmmm. But then we remember some of the stuff in the books. Observe first, and then interact. Make small and slow changes. Start right outside your door and grow from there.

So where am I heading? Well, in many ways this feels like a new beginning, like something changed. Then I remember where we were five years ago, (even ten or twenty years ago), and all the large and small actions we took each day. I realize everything is always changing from one state to another whether I notice it or not. Small choices and direct actions do add up to big changes and it’s never too late. A long time ago I read a book on Buddhism and it raised the question, “How did this moment come to be?” When I think about this I realize there are no true beginnings and endings, just my perceptions of them. Like I said, all this started a long time ago. Five, ten, twenty years ago. Or is it forty-nine? Or even longer? (when was our land formed?)

So, over the next several years we plan to continue on our path of building our cottage and gardens. We'll celebrate this seemingly new stage of the journey while remembering and honoring how this moment came to be. If I know anything I know that what comes will be different than our plans. But if the past is any guide, it will be richer and better than our dreams. Whatever comes, I’d like to write about it and post pictures of our progress here. Your comments, suggestions and insights are welcome. Thanks to the Barnyard mods for starting and maintain this forum. Bye for now. Peace.

– Rick